This week, I had an opportunity to write a post about an obituary written for a man who passed away from prostate cancer at the age of 88.
I’m no obitivist, but I think the sentiment behind it was spot on.
I think that most people are willing to do whatever it takes to write an obitsuary for someone who has died.
It might take the effort of a long road of grieving, a lot of planning, and the fear of public shaming.
I don’t know about you, but when I write a obit for someone, I don, too, because I have a story to tell.
It’s a way of saying that I care about what happened to the person I loved and that I want to make it easy for others to feel the same way.
This week I wrote an obtuary for my husband, Steve.
His story was an odd one, too.
He was an accountant for a large insurance company in the 1960s.
Steve was a kind, gentle man, but he didn’t always treat people with the respect he deserved.
When his wife left him, Steve, like most of us, was devastated.
He took the time to write out the obit, and in the process of doing so, he made the mistake of making it a “my husband was a bad guy” obit.
His obit said he was a self-absorbed asshole, who was a “hater of everyone, especially people of color.”
That didn’t make sense.
He wasn’t racist.
He didn’t want to hurt anyone.
I know I didn’t think so either.
In fact, it was the opposite.
When he got back to work, I think I gave him a pat on the back for being so kind.
He did a lot for the business, but the fact remains that he was just a person.
When I started writing this obit in 2010, it wasn’t a “I want to do a nice, sweet, honest, honest obit” kind of thing.
I had to write something that I was proud of and that was true to me.
The story is not a political one.
I wanted to tell the truth about the guy who loved me and made me a better person every day, and it became about what Steve did for the people he cared about, how he made us feel, and how he was always there for us.
I hope the obits get read and shared, but this story is mine.
I wrote it in a very personal way, which is why I think it’s a good thing to share.
I’ll let you know what the comments are saying about it, so stay tuned.
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